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The shame of lower Manhattan

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

Here’s something that makes me wonder how the elected officials and landowners involved have convinced themselves that they’re still worthy members of society: According to the Daily News, the Freedom Tower, and surrounding transit hub and memorial, won’t be completed until 2018.

2018.

Read it and weep.

That’s 17 years after the terrorist attacks. Meanwhile, excavation for the Empire State Building started on January 22, 1930. It opened on May 1, 1931. That’s barely more than a year! And I’m pretty sure they didn’t even have electricity in the 1930s! If you adjust for advances in technology, by today’s standards, we should be able to build the Freedom Tower in 45 minutes.

So what’s the problem? Well, Larry Silverstein, who leases the property, isn’t helping. This is the kind of guy Larry Silverstein is: His insurance policy was for $3.5 billion, but he wants double that, because since it was two planes, that means two separate attacks, which means he’s due closer to $7 billion. Makes sense. I mean, c’mon, $3.5 billion, what is that? That’s practically an insult. What can you buy with that? Cuba? Whatever. Clearly, he is an easy-going guy who wants to do the right thing: The right thing is collecting all the money ever printed in America.

Although, it also didn’t help that former Gov. Pataki appointed his buddy, John Whitehead, to the Lower Manhattan Development Corporation. You’d figure a successful banker would have experience with construction and economic development, right? I mean, that’s why I call my butcher when my sink is backed up. Seriously though, it must be fun to be a political appointee, unless you’re Michael Brown (although, in Bush’s defense, I believe that raising horses is qualification to run the country’s disaster-response agency. It makes just as much sense as abstinence-only programs and invading a country that didn’t attack us. Right?)

Then there’s dealing with the Port Authority, a bi-state agency that actually owns the site, and is also full of political appointees. They made an agreement in 2006, called the master development agreement, with Silverstein, which gave the PA control of the Freedom Tower and Silverstein would have to build some of the smaller towers. Problem was, it resulted in $132 million in late fees after multiple deadlines passed, because a random wall in the middle of the site prevented it from getting handed over…

You know what? Fuck this. This is ridiculous. Fuck everyone involved who handed al-Qaeda the win on this. Because they did win. We live in a constant state of fear and political bickering, we’ve given up our civil liberties for the illusion of safety and we’ve accepted that a big, gaping hole in lower Manhattan is just something to accept. For a country as jingoistic as America, I fail to understand why there isn’t rioting in the streets. It’s also the same reason that I refuse to acknowledge the Pledge of Allegiance or the Star Spangled Banner anymore. This country, and the standards we set for ourselves, it’s all a joke.

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We’re not gonna take it, except we are

Thursday, July 30th, 2009

Cell phone companies suck. Seriously. Why do I have to pay an exorbitant amount of money for text messaging when the amount of data involved is so miniscule as to be negligible to the overall network? David Pogue at the New York Times wrote a pretty good article about how much the industry likes to bend over the consumer, which you can read here.

Then Verizon Wireless CEO Lowell C. McAdam wrote an open letter to the Times, indicating that their article was wrong, and then doesn’t actually answer the charges made in the article, such as unfair double-billing, subsidies and contracts. Check that out here.

Anyway, the point is this: Cell phone companies charge by the minute, right? Say you’re on the phone for one minute and one second. That one second gets rounded up to a second minute. Nice, right? Now, ever notice how, before you can leave a voicemail message on someone’s phone, you have to listen to 15 seconds worth of instructions? As if you don’t know how to talk after the beep and hang out? See where I’m going with this?

The Consumerist (pound-for-pound the best consumer rights blog on the interwebs) put up a post detailing how to skip those messages and go directly to voicemail. So, you know, it’s the little steps that don’t make a difference but maybe can help us sleep at night. Read about it here.

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Oh, what a world…

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

Did you know that in Albany, in exchange for political allegiance, you get awarded a committee chairmanship that adds $12,500 onto your salary? Despite the fact that you (allegedly) slashed your girlfriend’s face open with a broken piece of glass? And when our elected leaders are confronted over who’s responsible for doing something that’s maybe illegal and definitely immoral, they’ll all lie about it?

Read about it here. Read about it and weep, long and hard.

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Yes we did!

Wednesday, July 15th, 2009

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Chia Obama. Is in my house. For reals.

My girlfriend decided she couldn’t live without one of these abominations. Our apartment is now home to two of them – one to display an odd sense of patriotism laced with racism, and another to darken someone else’s door.

Keep an eye on this blog, because nowhere else will you find someone tracking the green afro that will sprout from the Chia Obama. At Blogduggery you will get exciting, occasional updates about a plant. All hail the internets!

(That’s not true. Some idiot is going to put up a blog and add thought bubbles or something and then get a book deal. I live in a world dominated by LOL cats. That’s the way the universe works, and that’s why I hate the universe.)

I think what disappoints me most is that there are actually two different kinds. Happy Obama and Determined Obama. I want both now, after not wanting either.

On one hand, I’m glad that my chia-president-pet looks determined, because we’re in the middle of two wars, an environmental crisis and a financial meltdown. I want him to be determined to solve these problems. But at the same time, if he cracked a smile, maybe that would encourage me, that things will be OK? Some questions I just can’t answer.

Though, doesn’t Obama look slightly like Bush? I looked at it real quick when I saw the open box and thought Chia had pulled a terrible trick on us. I’ve worked so hard to put the last eight years out of my mind, and I don’t want to have to deal with the Bush years until I’m older and can afford therapy.

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Give me whisky or give me death

Monday, July 13th, 2009

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This is mega-lame – a bunch of bars got nailed for watering down drinks, hosting fruit flies and re-filling top-shelf bottles with bottom-shelf booze. One of the bars that got nailed by the State Liquor Authority is Crash Mansion, a decent club with good live music. That bums me out, considering how many times I’ve been there.

My drink is Jack on the rocks, and I don’t recall ever being given something else at Crash (I can taste the difference), but it’s really, really lame for people to do this. It’s just another reason for me to not want to go out to bars anymore. Besides the obnoxious hipsters and the serial-drunks that just aren’t funny anymore, now we can’t even trust what’s in the glass.

The New York Post wrote about the biggest offenders, which you can read about here.

My solution? Boycott them. The one bar I will always frequent is the bar where I get generous pours that aren’t watered down. If we don’t go to the bars that screw us, maybe they’ll stop screwing us. Viva la whisky revolucion!

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Food Network FAIL

Sunday, July 12th, 2009

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The judges on The Next Food Network Star totally just sent home Michael. That is SO messed up. Debbie totally acted like a bitch, and she’s proven herself to be dishonest, and yet they decide to send home the one guy who actually has a great personality. Plus, The Food Network needs more gay.

I was so upset when he got voted off I thought to myself, “I gotta go blog about this and tell the world how I feel.” So here I am.

I am SO sad right now. You know how people type LOL when they’re happy? Well, I’m the exact opposite of LOL. I am anti-LOL.

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Palin for LG

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009

There’s a rumor going around that Gov. David Paterson is going to appoint a lieutenant governor today. You can read about the speculation here.

The LG casts the tiebreaker vote in a tied Senate chamber, but when Spitzer resigned and Paterson took the top seat, the position was never filled, because there’s no function in the state Constitution to fill the vacancy. But certain groups have argued that the state’s Public Officers Law would allow for it, although the Republicans are probably going to challenge it in court. Appointing the post, if it survived the legal challenges, could compel the Senate to actually do some work.

Anyway.

Paterson probably has a pretty good idea who he’s going to appoint, since the press conference is happening in 2 and a half hours, but I have a last-minute suggestion.

Sarah Palin.

She’s perfect. It’s a bi-partisan appointment, since she’s a Republican, which might placate the GOP and keep them from suing. We’ll be treated to constant Palin-isms, which would enrich our lives with the gift of unintentional comedy. Besides casting that tiebreaking vote, the LG literally does nothing – Alfred DelBello resigned from the post in 1985 because then-Gov. Cuomo didn’t give him anything to do and he was bored! By the end of July, she’s going to be looking for a job anyway.

I’ve got my fingers crossed that we’ll see Sarah at the podium with him in a few hours.

(As I was typing this, NY1 caught up with Paterson, who declined to answer whether he was going to appoint anyone. In politics, silence can usually be taken in the affirmative).

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Missing Sarah Palin

Tuesday, June 30th, 2009

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Vanity Fair has a pretty great article on Sarah Palin, which you can read here.

Is it wrong for me to miss her? Look, I stopped taking politics seriously a while ago. Otherwise I would collapse into a ball and sob until I felt the cold embrace of death. Instead, I’m trying to enjoy it for the cast of colorful characters and absurd power struggles. Kind of like how repressed homosexuals enjoy professional wrestling, except I try to convince myself it’s not real.

Really though, it seemed like every time Palin opened her mouth, she said something that was not only really funny, but made you wonder what McCain was thinking.

(I mean, we know what he was thinking, that she would rally both the conservative base and all the women burned by Hillary Clinton’s loss in the primaries. In reality she only appealed to the psycho right-wing conservatives – not as a big a group as you would think – and she insulted women with, among other things, her regressive stance on abortion)

Her speech at the convention was pretty good, but that pitbull with lipstick line was perfect. That it was off-the-cuff was no small feat. Then she got served by, of all people, Katie Couric. I can just picture her braintrust saying that Couric would be a softball interview. Turned out Katie brought her big-girl boots, and the downward spiral began.

McCain should never blame her for his loss, because that can be attributed to a perfect storm of several major mistakes on his part – like admitting he didn’t understand the economy, the single most important issue of the campaign – but she was definitely one of the bigger mistakes that sent him packing to Arizona in November.

Palin is a shrewd politician, but there’s a big difference between winning big in a state with no media and a small base of voters, and the absurd breadth of the national political stage.

The 2012 race is going to be a lot more interesting with her around, and I actively hope that she ends up in the primary, because at least it’ll be good for a few laughs. So will her book, which I’m eagerly anticipating.

Based on what I’ve read about her, I expect something that’s going to burn down every bridge in sight. Something that any other politician would consider a mistake to publish.

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Tough gov

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009

Gov. Paterson said today that New York’s state senators ain’t getting paid until they actually, you know, work. Granted, I feel like part of his tough talk has to do with his dismal poll numbers, but you know what? I applaud withholding the Senate paychecks.

Did you know that they have to re-approve a law that puts Mayor Bloomberg in control on the public school system? And the deadline is June 30? And if the law expires, the city will revert back to the old school board system, which will probably cost millions of dollars and cause complete chaos? Oh, and also, the school board system was a terrible failure. Them not working has major consequences for the city’s budget, and therefore the economy.

You can read about Paterson’s line in the sand here.

Only half the Senate showed up today. Just the Democrats. They started their session, stood around for five minutes, and left to go home for a long weekend. We paid them to do that. How fantastic is that?

I’m going to start a timer and see if I can’t calculate how much of the money I pay in state taxes is being wasted. Then I’ll try to write it off on my returns next year. That ought to be fun.

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More stolen elections…

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009

There’s a pretty good roundup on Gawker about the current apocalyptic political climate in Iran. It links to a wide range of stories, which I find helpful. I’ve been so wrapped up in city and state issues, I’m letting the international stuff fall to the wayside.

Check it out. If nothing else, it’ll fill you with a unhealthy amount of depression and rage. Families picking up their murdered loved ones have to pay “bullet fees” before they can claim the bodies? Really?

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